GET A FUCKING JOB!

 

By Bill Camden

If you saw that documentary on channel 4 this past Monday night, everything was true. The Job Centre is an incompetent institution that serves no real purpose other than letting members of the public gets basic income so they don’t starve to death or become criminals only to survive.

Those of you who have years of solid work experience may be more fortunate to land a job – but that’d only be in the same industry, trying to change industries is hard.

Jobs at the bottom of the barrel are a lottery because so many people reply sending a CV and Cover Letter is like playing the lottery, except your money is replaced by your hope and fears of rejection.

I sometimes wonder if the Job Centre want everyone to get jobs, because if they did wouldn’t they be out of a job themselves? Sounds like a simplistic formula but even on a sub-conscious level, I question the motives behind some the workers I’ve met at the big JC. Did you know they earn between £18,000 up to £30,000 per annum?

There might be a lot of monotonous admin work involved but mainly they get to meet the unemployed public and either grill them or ask them politely (depending on personalities) about their job search.

It’s a weird process signing on. You go there every week hoping you’ll never have to come back again but before long you feel like you deserve an invite to the Christmas staff party.

One time I signed on, the building received a bomb threat. Shutters came down over the windows, alarms were going off and everyone was told to huddle in the centre of the room, the Unemployed and staff together in a huddled confusion. It has to be one of the weirdest experiences of my life and I’ve taken plenty of drugs.

If you’re a recent graduate, I envy you, especially if you still live with your parents. You can go do an internship for 6 months, there’s plenty out there. You may be working for free but at least you get something on your CV that will put one over me on the Job Market.

For those of us who have to pay for bills and food, working full-time for free for months is impossible. Instead we’re forced to apply for jobs we’re going to hate knowing that we’ll only be making an extra 20 quid above the Job Seeker’s Allowance income after tax, rent and bills rape our wage packets.

Maybe that’s why there’s a lot of people on the Dole. Sure, you get the chavvy scum who consciously scam the system simply because they’re just scum.

Others sub-consciously have lost the will to look for work or even believe they can get a job anymore. How many times do you have to send CV’s and write personal cover letters in the vain hope of getting an Interview, never mind a job offer!

So maybe my attitude might be wrong but even if I got a job flipping burgers at my local McDonalds, I doubt I’d last a week before I was trying to put my own head in the oven.

It could be worse I suppose, I could’ve been born in North Korea and work 365 days of the year brainwashed into thinking I’m working for a great and divine Nation and Emperor. Now that shit is scary. This McDonald’s application is now looking rather inviting.

 

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